


The 87 cent solution but Phooey exists.

by KingFranPetty



Series: Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [12]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Bad Humor, Bad Jokes, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Dark Comedy, Descent into Madness, Drama, Dramedy, Episode Related, Episode Remix, Episode: s02e10 The 87 Cent Solution!, Family Drama, Gallows Humor, Gen, Humor, Illnesses, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jokes, Madness, Not Really Character Death, Scrooge McDuck Being an Idiot, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Another episode that I will image Phooey existing in.
Series: Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647268
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	The 87 cent solution but Phooey exists.

"I've been robbed!!" Scrooge McDuck cried out. Phooey Duck popped out of a nearby gold pile. He yelled, "I didn't do it! I don't like money, I just like hanging out you!!" Scrooge swam over, lecturing the little boy, "I told you, no swimming in the money bin! You fade into the gold, what if you accidentally get a coin stuck in your hat? What if you get lost? I swear if you are lying, I'm going to show you grounded!!"

The elevator dinged and opened, Webby, Dewey, Huey, and Phooey walked out. They walked into the camera room. Gyro Gearloose was talking but Phooey wasn't paying attention, he was too busy being silently disturbed by the chicken soup in the room. Notably he was not allowed to see Gizmoduck due to his existing causing errors. However he was allowed in the next scene. Webbigail Vanderquack pointed out, "You'd be worried if your unpregable fortress was robbed too." The Glitch noted, "No, I wouldn't because I don't care about money." Huey Duck thought for a moment then spoke, "Oh. On the topic of people who care about money, Where's Louie?" Suddenly Louie Duck burst into the room. He stammered, "How much was I.. I mean were we stolen from?!" The richest duck in all of fiction turned around and dramatically told, "¢87." 

The golden eyed ducky blinked in confusion and shock, it was so small. Why would someone with literally more money than could be counted in many lifetimes ever bother about something that could hardly buy candy at the candy shop? "The amount doesn't matter. What matters is the bin is at risk!" The rich duck huff and puffed up and about while scratching himself. That worried Phooey, he pondered if his uncle was going madly paranoid in his greed. Then his pondering was paused. The red cap argued, "To be sure, You would need to count every coin in the bin and That would be Crazy." That is when they were forced to count every coin in the money bin. 

The golden child became far more than worried, he was out right scared. What ifs flew in his head at neck snapping speeds. Yet, what could he do? The fear grew as his oldest brother read aloud from the woodchuck guide book about something called, "Gold Fever" which matched all too well the behavior. That's about when the bin went on total lock down. Things only got worse from there. While The Error well knew, even if it was not understood nor agreed, still two million dollars for what couldn't even get a soda pop was just uncharacteristic. Louie Duck agreed with his and Huey's thoughts, "Yep, he's got gold fever and he has to be stopped."

The five ducklings followed on. They questioned his plans for catching the thief. The rich man turned his cane into an axe and declared, "I will not rest!" Which worried Huey who seemed to be more focused on the physical illness over the potential mental one. Of which Phooey was fearing incurable. "I can't be too careful." The paranoid old man gave a grim whisper as he geasured them in closer. Despite the fears, the children went in closer as requested. All the living paradox heard was tin foil head ramble. His uncle Scrooge even claimed threats that nobody else could see unseen and imaginary kinds. Well, unless you are Phooey. 

The Typo decided to aid even though it was nutty because he wanted to stay with his uncle even when it was clear that he was going off the rails.

Just as that choice was made, McDuck almost killed Dewey by causing Launchpad McQuack to crash into the bridge... Things already weren't going well by any means.

His siblings and some of Scrooge's employees quickly organized an intervention. Only he and Webby stood by McDuck. The old duck proclaimed in betrayed brambles, "Fine, if you won't help me then I don't need you! Any of you!!" He breathed out, "There's a perfectly reasonable explain to this all." Before nabbing the golden child and dashing off whilst laughing about how nobody ever stealing his precious gold again.

Everyone chased after the delusional old man. At the end of the diving board, The paranoid man was rocking back and forth while mumbling and giggling as he held the paradox, "My little precious gold. Nobody is taking you away from me. I don't need anyone else, just me and my darling gold. My precious treasure." On he laughed, holding on tighter. The oldest child pleaded, "Please, you have to stop. Look at yourself, you've lost so much weight that your clothes don't fit anymore." The old bird looked at the red duckling, shaking and explaining, "It doesn't matter, what matters is my gold. Just me and my gold." Needless to say, The yellow duckling was deeply conflicted. Still he stood firm in his choice. He'd see this to it's end, despite what all signs of the end pointed to. The eldest son stepped forward and cried out, "If You do this, you'll DIE! Please listen!!" The oldest adult in the room cackled out in delusions, "Nobody will keep me from my gold!" Then he went to jump with Unbirthed still in arms. His redded and pinked eyes glittering as he glazed upon his vast wealth. There was a small smile.

Donald Duck sobbed loudly at the funeral. Phooey just stared at the casket in numb shock, like someone who had the body inside die on top of them. Perhaps someone who couldn't lie and knew a lack of expression was good enough to fool everyone without actually being deceitful. Bagpipes were playing. Notable that the yellow eyed duckling liked bagpipes and was very very glad to be seated beside his siblings at the furtherest seats from Bradford Buzzard and his brothers. Otherwise, there wasn't much to be happy about. Then Flintheart Glomgold bust in and made a jerk of himself by gloating loudly. Amoung other things. Because Glomgold. This truly peeved the mourning crowd. Still the funeral continued on. Huey Duck went up to the stand and gave a speech, which was interrupted by Flintheart angrily confessing to his crime. "It was me! I did it!! Ask the living gold duckling, he was the only one unaffected on the stop watch." Scrooge McDuck sat up in his coffin. The trillionaire commented, "I didn't have to because he already told me." The living Typo blinked blankly and nodded while frowning before asking, "Can I please never be asked to lie again? It makes me feel gross inside."

In the background where nobody was looking, three vultures loomed as vultures are often to do but did so for only the never hatched. Which immediately caused the cutie to ball and cry whilst dashing over to his uncle and clinging onto said uncle desperately. To everyone who didn't see the whole picture, it merely appeared as if the soft crybaby was so overwhelmed by the stress of the idea of lying that he went to his uncle Scrooge McDuck for comfort. 

The shorter man ignored this scene and proceeded to gloat over his scheme in spite of the fact that the "corpus" had just sat up. 

The second richest duck had gotten the watch. Used it without knowing what it was. Spent a few months fiddling around to discover that he had not only stopped time but he was the only one who could move. Everyone else was frozen. Unless you are Phooey, who hardly even noticed anything was strange because glitch powers. Also because he wasn't in the room whenever Glomgold did something or just wasn't paying attention. Up until the very last moments. Which they both saw each other, causing Phooey to put all the dots together and tell his uncle Scrooge. The last part unknown to fakly bearded duck. Glomgold ended the flashback by telling everyone, "And I would have gotten away with it if wasn't for that meddling kid!!" Which is untrue because the original episode. 

And on that scooby doo style note, 

The End.


End file.
